Virtual Gatherings, Real Connections
Sitting alone at her eight-seat dining room table, Deirdre Rivera-Martin put on her noise-canceling headphones to block out any distractions, then lit a candle before opening her Bible to the book of James.
As an introvert, this was Rivera-Martin’s favorite way to study the Bible—just her and God. Little did she realize that a verse she would read that morning would change not only her life but the lives of, at first, five other women, then 22 individuals and eventually an uncountable number, who—though separated by miles—would grow deeper in their relationships with God and with each other. “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only,” she read from James 1:22 (KJV).
A Life-changing Question
Then the Holy Spirit spoke to her heart: “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” she realized. She had been a Christ-follower for 30 years and a pastor’s wife for nearly as long, but, as she would later admit, “I was just sitting on my salvation.” But this verse in James woke her up. As the weeks went by, she began to sense that the Spirit was guiding her to start a small group. But there was a problem, she hadn’t ever felt comfortable in a small group.
She was, however, finding encouragement among two friends from the Arlington Seventh-day Adventist Church who had begun texting each other, sharing prayers, Bible verses, and practical support. Bo Livingston and Karla Dechavez became what Rivera-Martin called her Portable Life Group (PLG).
Livingston is Rivera-Martin’s best friend, though the two live an hour away from each other. The two women probably would have never met had it not been for how Seventh-day Adventists embraced 1990s technology with Net ’98, a global satellite-based evangelistic series that brought Livingston’s family into the Adventist church.
Livingston’s mom found a flyer for Net ’98 on her car windshield and decided to check out the program being broadcast at the Desoto Seventh-day Adventist Church. Eventually, both of Livingston’s parents were attending church regularly and were even bringing Livingston’s oldest son along. “I went to go see what these people were doing,” said Livingson, “and they were just the sweetest people. So that was my first church. It’s where I found Jesus.”
In 2006, Livingston and her family began attending the Arlington church where her sons, who were entering their teenage years, began participating in more church activities.
It was here where she met Rivera-Martin, who had come to the church in 2010 when her husband, Allan, was asked to lead the Arlington church’s young adult ministry, Younger Generation Church (YG).
Karla Dechavez, on the other hand, had been an active part of the Arlington church’s congregation since college; she was even part of YG’s inception. Though a decade younger than Livingston and Rivera-Martin, she looked up to the two women as mentors. Dechavez, a mother to one son, felt a deep connection to Livingston because of her experience raising sons, and to Rivera-Martin, who, like Dechavez, had an only child.
In March 2020, the global COVID-19 pandemic reshaped what life looked like for many. Rivera-Martin remembers the uneasiness many felt during that time. As PLG delved into the Scriptures, the group supported each other.
The Power of Virtual Connection
One evening, the three women and their husbands hopped onto Zoom for a virtual Newlywed Game. “This was just three couples doing community online during COVID-19,” said Rivera-Martin. Soon, the trio of women realized they had found a tool to create a formal life group, which they would call Zoom Life Group (ZLG).
In the weeks that followed, each woman prayerfully considered whom she would invite. Rivera-Martin invited Michelle Wells, another pastor’s wife. Dechavez invited her best friend, Kisha Norris. Livingston immediately knew whom she wanted to invite, but when she prayed about it, God placed a different name on her heart. She was impressed to invite Barbara Quaye, who, in her late 20s would become the youngest in the group. “I’m so grateful to God that I came to Bo’s mind and that He revealed Himself to me like this,” Quaye shared.
Without Zoom this life group probably would have never happened. For one thing, meeting online provided the introverts in the group with a sense of safety. Each woman met from her own home with a screen between them, giving them the space they needed to feel comfortable. For another thing, these were busy women who were scattered throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. Each one was a working professional, several of them were also raising kids.
Norris says that when she was first invited, she agreed with the idea that, if necessary, she could multitask.
“Zoom made it easy, safe and accessible,” she said. As it turns out, Norris never multitasked during a ZLG meeting. “I knew that I needed to dial in,” she said about her decision to focus only on ZLG during their time together. “I want to be a person that is very respectful of God and the Word.”
Overcoming Obstacles, Building Community
Recognizing these obstacles, the church’s pastors fully supported finding ways to keep members connected. Zoom provided a virtual space for the group to meet, creating a much-needed sense of community.
“With the frenetic pace of life most of our members are dealing with,” said Arlington senior pastor Kevin Wells, “whatever opportunity we can provide them to seamlessly connect with each other is invaluable.”
“We no longer live in a real-time, live, in-person-only world,” added Allan Martin, YG pastor. “We live in a world that includes a vast digital landscape, where many of our next generations will spend a vast majority of their time.”
For a year and a half, they studied together, memorized Bible verses and found a safe place to share their authentic journeys.
“This group has collectively seen some really, really dark—just dark times,” Rivera-Martin’s voice broke as she reflected on ZLG’s journey during the first Zoom meeting since their studies concluded. “All six of us. Things that we didn't see coming for sure. And they just knocked the wind out of us. I don't think the six of us could have gone through it without the support that we had.”
Livingston interjected with one of the verses she learned that helped them get through those dark times. “My soul melts with heaviness. Strengthen me according to God's word,” Psalm 119:28 (NKJV).
This was how they frequently supported each other. They shared verses to lift each other up. They prayed for each other and were there for each other in many tangible ways.
From Small Group to Larger Impact
After 18 months, Rivera-Martin felt impressed that it was time to bring the ZLG studies to an end so that the women would be free to take what they had learned and nurture others.
“I think at first we were all kind of conflicted,” said Dechavez, who had hoped the ZLG group would continue meeting forever. However, the women realized that, while the studies were drawing to a close, the relationships they had formed with each other would continue as strong as ever. The texts kept coming. The prayers continued. The friendships remained. And in some ways, the end of their formal studies was just the beginning.
The Holy Spirit’s work continued and three new life groups were formed, allowing 22 more individuals to experience the same kind of deep spiritual relationships that had been formed within ZLG.
Through the support found in one of the new groups, McKenna Guinta-Moreno cemented her decision to follow Christ through baptism. Wells and a group of women from the church are planning a women’s event called gatHER, whose mission is “to empower women to be lifelong learners of Christ, cultivating a community that encourages spiritual growth and transformation into His likeness in every aspect of life.” And Rivera-Martin is preparing to start a mentoring and training initiative called Flourish.
“I thought doing life by myself was enough,” says Rivera-Martin, reflecting on the transformation she has experienced. “but that's a lie. Doing life with other people actually transforms you to becoming more like Christ.”
